Individualized Education and Coaching
Though most individual sessions will incorporate elements of both education and coaching, I describe them each separately here to more clearly explain the services I offer, as differentiated from counseling, therapy, or other services.Sessions may be done in person, by phone, or by writing.
Sexuality Education:
Sometimes clients want information or instruction on a sexual subject. Though books, web research, and videos can be useful in self-education, a private, confidential, individualized session with an educator allows clients to ask questions, get clarification, and get personalized, face-to-face instruction which fits their particular needs and interests. Depending on your needs, sex education may last one session or more.
Topics for education sessions include:
* flirting and dating
* on-line dating
* masturbation
* using sexual aids such as sex toys, erotica, instructional videos, porn
* ethical non-monogamy
* sexual health and sexually transmitted infections
* using condoms and other barriers
* communicating boundaries and needs with partners
* orgasm
* “How to” (Though I do provide basic educational sessions which address the question, “How do I do...” my focus during these sessions is in providing some basic starter ideas and then in teaching strategies for communicating with partner(s). You and your sex partner are always your best resources for “how to” do any sexual activity!)
* And more! Just ask!
Sexuality Coaching:
Other folks have particular sexual goals that they want to accomplish. I work with individuals, couples or small groups to help them achieve their goals by helping them identify the purpose of their plan, clear goals by which they will be able to identify their success, facilitating creation of a personalized plan of action, identifying “next steps,” checking in regularly regarding the action steps the client is making, and encouraging their progress—like coaching and cheerleading rolled into one. Coaching is done in a series, with a minimum of three sessions, but occasionally on an ongoing basis as well.
Topics for coaching sessions may include any of the above sex education topics, as well as:
* Beginning to date after divorce or death of a partner
* Exploring newly-discovered sexual identities: bisexual, homosexual, heterosexual, asexual, kinky, transgender, crossdresser, ethically non-monogamous, or polyamorous, for example
* Finding appropriate embodiment practices to support sexuality
* Expanding one's masturbation practice
* “Spicing up” one's sexual life
* Exploring and redefining sexuality after illness or injury
* Writing a sexual autobiography
* Communicating one's desires, needs and boundaries with partner(s)
* And more! Just ask!
Coaching and education are not psychotherapy, and I am not licensed or trained to diagnose or treat mental illness. Though we often will discuss client's emotions, feelings, and backgrounds, I am not the appropriate resource for helping a client understand or change their emotions or behavioral patterns. I will be happy to refer you to a trusted therapist should the need arise.
In addition, I believe strongly in the potential for healing, growth, and enjoyment available through sexual bodywork, Domination, submission, sexual surrogacy, fantasy fulfillment, and other sexual services, but those services are not within the scope of my practice. All sessions are conducted fully clothed, and under no circumstances does sexual contact between client(s) and educator/coach occur. To ensure the safety, comfort, integrity, and legal compliance of both client(s) and educator/coach, I adhere to the Code of Ethics of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists.
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Feel sexy!
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"Take responsibility for your own sexual pleasure. As much as you might like to think that someone else will turn you on and give you joyful paroxysms of sexual pleasure, in actuality we are each responsible for our own eroticism...(The) notion of sex as something one person does to another--or the somewhat kinder notion that sex is something one person does for the other--both can lead to problems. By taking responsibility for your own sensual and sexual needs, you actually are paying your partner a terrific compliment: in effect, you're saying to them, I care enough about you to want to keep you from having to guess at what I want, what I like, and what can make me happy."
-William Masters, Virginia Johnson, and Robert Kolodny, Sex and Human Loving
